Rublev: "I saw no more reason to live".

© AFP

Clément Gehl

le 12/01/2025 à 13h22

2 min to read

Open d'Australie Rublev

Andrey Rublev had a complicated 2024, marked by angry outbursts and periods of doubt.

Present in Melbourne for the Australian Open, where he will face Joao Fonseca in the first round, the Russian looked back on this period for The Guardian, making some powerful revelations.

He declares: "I'm doing much better. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I've finally got a solid base.

I've got something to build on, because six months ago I reached the worst moment of my life in terms of self-perception. That was after Wimbledon.

It was the worst moment I'd ever faced. It had nothing to do with tennis. It had to do with me. After that moment, I saw no reason to live. Why couldn't you?

It sounds a bit dramatic, but the thoughts in my head were killing me, creating a lot of anxiety, and I couldn't take it anymore.

That's when I started to feel a bit bipolar. Now I feel better. I can see the things that were happening.

I was taking antidepressants and that didn't help at all. Finally, I said I wouldn't take any more.

I stopped all the medication and Marat Safin helped me a lot by talking to me.

He made me aware of a lot of things and I started working with a psychologist.

I'm learning a lot about myself and even if I don't feel in a good mood or in the state of happiness I'd like to have, I no longer feel that crazy anxiety and stress of not knowing what to do with my life.

You can have everything in life, a healthy family, all the material possessions, the healthiest relationship, but if there's something going on inside you that you don't want to see, you'll never be happy.

If you find it and accept it, you'll feel better and better."